I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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