just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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