By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize
