she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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