You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
