I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Text me some of your sweat
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