man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
