Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
