They have a pepper shaker for pot.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
