I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
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