Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
