And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
