omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
