I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
