i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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