I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
