It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
