There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
