ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
You were trust falling into bushes
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
