yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
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