ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
