So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
