He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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