I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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