You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
