So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
