ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
My day in three words: secret purse cake
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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