The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
