Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
