My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
