Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
there is another microwave in the elevator.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
