Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
