it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Randomize
