think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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