he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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