he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
