You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Randomize
