he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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