Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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