we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
