you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
