Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
