Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Randomize
