You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Drunk is not a location!
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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