Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
