that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
