I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I need to calm my uterus...
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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