whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
