Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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