Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
