you guys were way drunker than both of me
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
