Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
